Monday, April 28, 2014

The note


It travelled to me
Or perhaps
It travelled from me
A single note

At first more vibration
A slight quiver
A soft sound
Lost amidst the noise

The sounds of other notes
More strident
Pushy, insistent tones
Insecurity hidden in volume

Yet resolute
The trembling vibration
Grew, steadied
Perforating other sounds

Then stopped in silence
In drawn breath
Waiting, suspended
In still space

Then pulsating
It travelled to me
Though it also travelled
From me

The solitary note
The I am
Eternal harmony
Echoing in my heart

A single note
From The Note
The sound and the silence
Are One


Friday, April 25, 2014

The builder


You built a cubby
Square box
Of knotted pine
A fortress in my imagination
More a coffin
For a dead relationship

The smell of resin
Still lingers
And takes me back
Standing there
Watching you
The builder

You built a shed
Square coffin of bricks
Play and make believe was over
I had to learn to be a man
I never was quite sure and
For you I never was

The smell of cement
Still lingers
And takes me back
Standing there
Watching you
The builder

You built a house
A house of cards
Nailed with
Your animosity
Roofed with
Frustrated rage

The scent of rage
Still lingers
Tendrils caught
Within my heart
Remembering you
The builder

I built a hardened heart
To keep you out
I was your shame
The human part
You hated, and
Never learnt to love

The scent of shame
Still lingers
I know it very well
Your gift
My legacy, from
You, the builder


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Hello


Hello, my old foe
You have come
Back to me

I missed you when
You first came in
I thought it was me

I thought we had finished
You and me
It was a truce

Now, we start again
Start again
In a different place

Fresh wounds
Geriatric rage
I am what you hate

Sibilant whispers
Lisping in foggy
Memory

Introjected from the grave
I carry your
Sound and hate

But I
Will not die down
I will not give in

I will pull
Your poison
From my heart

I will not
Succumb
Succubus of my past





Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Twice born


It’s true
I was twice born
Though I didn’t know
Till today

At my first birth
You were not there
Maternal love
Suffocated

Strangled by
Depressions cord
Soul eaten by
Post partum blackness

My life, emerged
External burden
Born then borne
With little joy

My second birth
I was not there
Love had left
Long before you

The corpse of
Our love, unburied
Lay long years
Rotting between us

A carcass, bloated,
For you to feed off
With your shark like
Ferocity and speed

I was not there
When you cast your moorings
And the tide of dementia
Drifted in

As you lost your moorings
And life washed you out
I was not there
As life breathed out

In your going
I had my second birth
And I cried

When I was born twice

Eulogy for my mother

This feeling


It came in
Through the front door
It was only meant to be him
But the feeling came in too

He touched his arm
His eyes lit up
And met his gaze
In welcome recognition

A gift once given
Was given twice
This feeling roused
A hibernating heart

Somewhere
Between sips of wine
And strings of words
Lips found time to touch

And in that glancing touch
Warmed by wine
Eyes, flickered held, as

Love closed the door

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Between


I reached between the stars
Cold sentinels of space
I scattered my prayers
Meteors of faith
Flashed brilliant
Then disappeared
With no response

I reached between the stars
And pulled eternity to me
Its veil of inky blackness
Shrouding my anonymity
And calling into space
Reverberating echoes of silence
Came back to haunt me

I reached between the stars
A traveller, I travelled far
In the spaces of my soul
Unanswered prayers
No longer disappoint
Nor echoes of silence
Plague me

I reached between
For life is lived between
Between this kiss and the next
Between the blink of eyes
Between the sighing breath
It is enough
To live between

One day,
Somewhere in between
The melody will call me
The harmonic symphony
Of eternal silence
And I will no longer
Be between


Monday, April 21, 2014

Danced with the Moon


I danced with the moon
In the dead of night
I danced in the light of her arms

She woke me
Light kisses on eye lashes
Cool silvery light

She knew how to
Entice me, seduce me
In the dead of night

Aroused
She roused me
She lured me

Naked
She caressed me
Light fingers of platinum

She hung her
Silver chandelier
In the ballroom of the bush

She pulled me to her
She had her way, as we danced
In the dead of night

She left me, spent.
Faithless lover
But she will be back

And we will
Dance again

In the dead of night

Sunday, April 20, 2014

The silent order


They stand uneven
As the shore line

Cowled in hoodies
A monastic order
Of silent men

Complexities of emotion
Nuances of feeling
Compacted to a phrase
Understood by the brotherhood

Peace found
In hissing surf and
Squabbling seagulls
Content to flow around
These silent dawn intruders

Prayer rediscovered
For the sea to yield
Its bounty
That big one
They can brag about
For size still matters

Lines flicked out
Rise
Shimmer in sunlight
Then cascade
Into Neptune’s hall

They stand, they wait
Hoping, desiring, lusting
While surf
Caresses their feet

Cowled in hoodies
They are the brotherhood
Of silent men

Having faced the sea

They turn and face the sun

Friday, April 18, 2014

Immerse me


Immerse me
In your coldness
Let my cells contract
In your icy embrace

Wash the grime
Of my masculinity
Let your frigidity
Sooth me

Baptised
I do not die
Resurrected
I am not renewed

I glide into you,
Through you
Stroke after stroke
Till lost in you

Thought stills
Drawn into you
Still reflection
Of nights queen

I rise
Resurrected and
Unredeemed
Still the same

I walk into the night
It is enough
I am content
I am a man


Time inhaled


Time inhaled
In smoky water
Seconds paused
Slowed, disengaged

At 7 an opening door
Slim shadow on the threshold
Eyes that spoke
Before a word

Stars pinned
In inky velvet
Dance in
Deverish delight

Your voice
From far away
Floats to me
Reaches out to touch

Lips, warmed
By flickering hope
Lips ice cold
From disillusioned kissing

Suspended in this
Spinning vortex
Kissed into surrender
Submerged in your arms

Will we dance?
You and I
Submerged and suspended
Will we dance?


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The path


There is a path
A path I walk
It is a shaded path
More ballroom
For dancing shadows
That flit and flirt
Amongst the debris
Of the path

There is a path
A path I walk
More a line between
This side and the next
I try to stay this side
And like Odysseus
Not hear the siren song
Of the next

There is a path
A path I walk
Marked by footsteps
Dried dusty imprints
The whispering indents
Of other lives
Shades dancing
In the shadows of my path

There is a path
A path I walk
It disappears
Around the bend
The bend is close
Yet not close enough
I want to walk around the bend
And go onto the next

There is a path
A path I walk
I want to stop for now
I will be back
Again sometime
Then, perhaps I will walk
That path with less pain

Than the last

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Cruising


Body parts neatly framed
Already amputated
Stamp sized
Ready to paste

A chest
Hairy and broad
Thighs
Smooth and slim

Don’t let reality
Limit your choice
The man of your dreams
Can be assembled

Keep the conversation
Light and superficial
Stay on the surface
Don’t dive deep

Maintain the
Delusion of illusion
Remember
Size is what’s important

To survive
You have to learn
You are not significant
Simply a statistic

A body part
In another man’s illusion
An amputated photo

In his delusion

Saturday, April 5, 2014

I Sit


I sit
Suspended over
Thoughts chasm
The abyss between
Two possibilities

I stare
Observing
The quick sands
Of desire
Sucking at my soul

I pray
For home
Where I can return
And lay down
Lay myself down

I hope
For the kind touch
Of  a stranger
To keep me
This side of the line

I ask
The gods
To be generous
And grant me the gift
Of a short life

I wonder
Are strangers kind?
Do gods answer prayer?

Will you greet me?
When I get home

Friday, April 4, 2014

Fragment of Expectation


The matter is resolved
Finished, completed

The decision is made
A choice accepted

I am content,
Settled, happy

Yet

A fragment of
Expectation lies

A neural splinter
Within my mind

The unseen itch
I cannot scratch

The eyelash
Caught in my stare

This fragment of anticipation
Lying makes a liar of me

Hope springs eternal
With just enough moisture

To turn my stern decision
Into a swampy mess