Monday, December 30, 2013

This Place

There is a place
That is not a place
Where you come to me

There is a room
With no walls
Of which you have the key

There is a pool
With no water
Where dragonflies dance

There is an embrace
That is not held
Into which I surrender

In this place of no place
The room of no walls
The pool where dragonflies dance

This embrace not held
Three words whispered to you
The climax of a sigh



Saturday, December 28, 2013

Love's arrival


Love told
In terminals and platforms
Love greeted then departing
To somewhere else

Love’s leaving sung
In mournful note of rail and boat
Love’s budding
Come to late

Eyes glistening
Yet unsalted
Tears choked, in pretence
It did not matter

Perhaps next year
I’ll re-write the script
Love will be met
In its arriving

A single note
Arrived when time was right
And paths had aligned
So we crossed tracks

No terminals or platforms
To mark the spot
Just points on the compass
That love aligned

I’ll wait in anticipation
Without pretence
For love’s arrival

The flowering of possibility

Friday, December 27, 2013

I Fell


I fell
It was a sudden fall

It caught me by surprise
This fall

When love ended
I fell…..

Into love

I fell
From my mind to my heart

It’s a long way to the heart
To fall

I fell
Perhaps it was up…

Not down

I fell
From loneliness to love

I fell
My heart broke…

Into love

I fell
And prayed for a safety net

I fell
Love laughed

I fell
I laughed

For

I fell
Into love

I fell

It was good to fall

Love's Light


Light caught,
Caressing you
Glinting, then
Glancing off
Your beauty

Light caught,
Refracted, re-creating
Your soul
In rainbow
Coloured lasers

Light caught,
Lighthouse beams
Illuminating
The distance
Between us

Light caught
In us
Between us
Love’s light
Igniting love

Let me dance
In the ball room
Of your love, caught
In the refracted light

Of your beauty

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Scattered thoughts on a morning walk


Treading on foot prints
Shallow indentations of another life
The lightness of impressions
Washed and swept away

The waves dressed
In curvacious cerulean
Curl in sensuous
Invitation

Seagulls strut
In confused anxiety
At the smorgasbord of
Bloody, sandy, fishy remains

The waves curl and crash
Rushing to embrace the shore
Orgasmic power spent
Absorbed into nothing

Salt and ashes
Scattered then returning
In baptismal surprise
Your soul inhaled

The waves, the cycle of returning
Remind me of mine
The lightness of my light
Washed and swept away

Till then, take my love
Sent to you on the current of the wave
Let sweep around you, baptise you

Embrace you

The Song of Life


Squeezed out
Birthed into light
Bursting with vibrancy
Crimson life force
Gold streaked

Contained no more
Constrained no longer
Circling upon itself
Uncoils, rises
Lifts it throat

In glorious song
Expanding into silence
It sings
Its song building
Folding in on itself reverberating

Exalting in its power
Exhilarated in its freedom
Its potency
The song sings of life
It sings for those who will hear its melody

Strong, soft
Strident, incessant
A song that will not be stopped
Reverberating in its core

The song of life

The Symphony of Space


There is a place
Within space
A place into which
My soul subsides

A place I come home to
Each night
As I tilt into sleep
In that place of space

Uncluttered by demands
There is a resonance, an echo
Of stars singing their beauty
Into the universe

And I?
In that place of space?

In that place of resonance
I sing into the universal song
And add the harmonics of my soul

To the symphony of space

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

To Survivors


Christmas 2013

It is that season again!  That season when more than at any other time the myth of the happy family is idealized.  It is the period when being together is mandatory; when saying you are having a quiet day spend mostly in your own company is met by a few seconds silence, followed by a weak smile and an inane comment such as ‘that’s nice!’

Yet for many of us this season is one of pain.  Pain that ranges from the excruciating to the dull, deep throbbing that exhausts us as we do our best to get through each day.  It is almost as if there is a cultural conspiracy to pretend our pain does not exist.  
We become the lepers of Christmas.  The unclean who remind everyone that behind all the tinsel, all the alcohol, all the merry making and all our best laid plans life is tenuous, uncertain and gifts pain in indiscriminate and careless fashion.

To all of us who struggle through this season, hiding our pain behind our smiles, waiting until we are alone before we let the tears of loss flow and our bodies shake with the intensity of our pain.  To all of us in this situation I raise a toast! 

We are survivors!  We have not done, as I am sure we have often thought of doing - crossed that line between here and there.  We have not closed the door on life, choosing instead to bear with whatever dignity we can muster the pain that has been given to us.  We have survived, often when it has felt our fingers nails are being ripped out.

It takes courage, it takes dignity, it takes strength to be a survivor and these are the gifts you have given to the world by your determination, so I salute you.

Kahlil Gibran in his work in his work “Joy and Sorrow” writes
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain”
That is little comfort when the waves of pain and sorrow are crashing around you and you feel your very existence is threatened.  Sometimes in the midst of a storm you jettison everything to survive, except the lifejacket and perhaps Kahlil’s words give us a lifejacket to hang onto while sorrow and pain do its work of carving us into different people.


Perhaps when the storm of pain has lessened we will find our capacity for joy and acceptance has grown.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Between Portland and Perth


Between Portland and Perth
Between the constellations of Aries and Libra
Our souls dance
In the spaces between the stars
And in the stillness of eternity
I hear your words
“I’m here”

In time,
And out of time
We dance
A soul found
That sparks the heart
A soul that echoes back
“I’m here”

Through time
I listen
To your voice
Behind your voice
The voice you carried with you
When first your soul was born
Your voice that sparks my heart

In time
I’ll gaze into your eyes
And see in them
Reflections of spaces
Between the stars
The reflections
Of you and me


Sunday, December 22, 2013

Will you?


In the dream hour
Will you come to me?
In the softness of your breath

Will you free dive?
The depth
Of my longing

Do your eyes twinkle?
Like far stars
When you think of me

In nights silver light
Will you lie naked?
In my arms

Will you travel with me?
To Orpheus’ cave
And return with me

When the moon is blood red
And your passion fed
Will you still love me?

Will you stand on the shore?
And catch the morning song
Of my soul

When light streaks the sky
Will you dress me?
With you kisses

It would be enough
To reach through days

And hold you in my arms

Your Last Christmas


For Matthew

I remember
That Christmas
Your last

I don’t remember
What we ate
Or what we drank

I remember you
That Christmas
Your last

I remember
Sitting next to you
Your lean and wiry frame

I remember your eyes
So brown, that Christmas
Your last

I remember your hand
My son’s hand
Bigger than mine

I remember I wondered
At years fast gone
When new born
I held you hand

I remember your laughter
So deep, that Christmas
Your last

Christmas,
New Year
Then you were gone

Now Christmas comes again
And I remember
Remember



Friday, December 20, 2013

This dance


Excuse me sir,
Would you honour me
With this dance

Come dance with me
While this music lasts
Before the final note is played

Let us dance
For we might learn to dance
Into eternity

Excuse me sir,
I would like to dance with you
Dance into eternity

Take my hand
I trust my heart
To let me lead

When my heart is sore
I’ll take your hand
And let you lead

Excuse me sir,
I want to dance with you
To learn to step in time with you

If I mis-step or you
Don’t fret
The music will carry us through

The music will carry us
We do not need to over think
Sir, I want this dance with you



Your breath


Your breath, exhaled
The body’s longing sighed
Let it be caught
On gentle winds and carried
From north to south
From east to west
May my inbreathing
Be your out breathing

Let the warmth of your breath
Thaw the winter of my sadness
The arctic chill of loneliness
Melted in the rhythm of your breath
From north to south
From east to west
May my inbreathing
Be your out breathing

Could I gather your breath?
I would weave a chord
A chord of your breaths
Between me and you
From north to south
From east to west
May my inbreathing
Be your out breathing

Breathe into me
Distant lover
Sustain me with your breath
Let time be fused in our breaths
From north to south
From east to west
May my inbreathing
By your out breathing

Time and distance
Surmountable constraints
Till then, kiss me
With your breath
Caught on winds
From north to south
From east to west

Kiss me…..

Enlightenment


We would not re-crucify God
We would not nail Him to a cross
The death penalty has been outlawed
Modernity has progressed

Now we nail God in a box
The box of our ideologies
Convinced we have got it right
We need look no further

When God is in your box
You’re right when you’re convinced your right
Unless of course
You’re wrong

God may have slipped out
The supreme magician
Leaving you the box
As a coffin of your certainties

Convinced enlightenment
Is in the light
We neglect our shadows
Grown putrid from abandonment

The shadow of our grief
Suffocated in shame
We have not healed

The shadow of our rage
Choked in civilised smiles
We are not angry, just upset

The shadow of our loneliness
Transformed into hunting for another prey
To satisfy our eternal longing

And God, withdraws
Content to let us learn
Enlightenment is not in the light
It is simply

Our darkness transformed

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Paying the Ferry Man


They say I’ll have to pay the Ferry Man
But what will I pay?

When I breathe my last
And step upon his craft
What will I pay?

What will he take from me?
To take me to the other side
Perhaps he’ll take my heart
A bruised and battered heart

I could have kept my heart secure
I could have kept it safe
Instead I was a fool for love
And have a well used heart

I did my best to love
My best was not enough
Some think me hard
It’s just my time is running out

I’ve loved those close
I’ve him far
The scars are all I have
To prove I was a fool for love

So when I meet the Ferry Man
I’ll offer him my heart
A bruised and battered heart
And ask of him
To take me to the other side

I’ll say to him, my friend
I’ve loved, I’ve lost
I’ve loved again
That’s all that you can ask
So take my heart
My bruised and battered heart
And take to the other side

There on the other side
I’ll rest awhile
And heal this bruised and battered heart
I’ll rest in love
And know the reasons why
I loved and lost

And loved again

Monday, December 16, 2013

The Mathematics of Loneliness


1

I stand alone
Uncertain, yet certain
A trinity of loneliness
Between me, myself and I

In Platonic agitation
I search for some one else
Convinced my unity of one
Is just a half

0.5

Loneliness, the space in which
A solitary decimal point sits
A full stop precluding completion
A blockade between two

0

Platonic completion
Two halves making a whole
A whole emptiness
Boundaries configured in a circle

I started at one
Am now at zero
Still lonely
Subtraction didn’t work

2

Perhaps I’ll try addition
I’ll add another one
Two is company,
A company of what

What if I choose
Not 1 but half.  A full stop
Precluding completion
Will I be lonely with 1.5?

1.5

Perhaps the 0.5 will not matter
Yet it may matter very much
I may still be half lonely
Would that be worse?

1 + 0

I might choose a zero
An incarnated empty space
Myself plus nothingness
I’ll still be by myself

1 (squared)

Perhaps I’ll square the root
And find another me
Yet one of me’s enough
Besides I do not fit a square

I was never good at maths
But I’ve learnt
Loneliness has its own
Equation of subtracting

Adding and squaring

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Morning Walk along the Dog Beach


Waves fatigued
From too much sun
Roll indolently
To get more
Comfortable on the shore

Water, too exhausted
To give chase, to play
“Catch me if you can”
Fizzle in the sand
Far from where I walk

Heats sewing machine intensity
Pricks the skin, while
Crickets cling to
Malnourished salt grasses
Clicking, the last message
In secret Morse

Dogs, experts in
Reverse psychology
Catch listlessly thrown balls
To keep their masters happy
And congregate to compare notes
While keeping an eye
On fractious owners

Who stand and clap
It’s the latest trend
To applaud your dog
Positive reinforcement
To bring them to you

Yet pooch, content
Scurries and sniffs
While claps ring out
Finally squatting,
He does his thing

The clapping stops
The owner runs
To scoop up the mess
Pooch licks the owner
He’s well trained



Saturday, December 14, 2013

Words meeting


Today I speak
To you in yesterday
Words carried backwards

Today you speak
To me in tomorrow
Words carried forwards

You in my yesterdays
Me in your tomorrows
Meet in this unfolding moment

This unfolding moment
Where breath catches
In fear and hope

This moment of unexpected surprise
The glinting of eternity
Into time

Caught in reflected light
Our words glance and dance

To shy, to utter the words

Friday, December 13, 2013

Where did you go?


I stood by the shore and waited
Where did you go?

I stood by the shore and watched
For you to return

I stood by the shore and felt
Your aching absence

What did you see?
What did you feel?
When you stood by the shore
Waiting for me

I saw the earth turn
Yet remain in place
I felt the storms weep
In pent up fury
At their powerlessness

I saw the power of a flower
To resurrect itself
I saw the smallest star
Breathe its last in
Explosive delight

I felt the pause between the seasons
I felt the bird breathe before it began
Its song
I felt silence’s vibration

But you, where did you go?
What was so important you left me for?

I had to do my duty

And did you?

Yes

And has your duty finished?

Yes

Then I will tell you what I heard
I heard nature dance
I heard nature catch its breath
At the beauty of itself
I heard nature call you.

Call you,
To dance with me
To trust with me
And in the dancing
To know

What will I know?
You will know what you know
You will learn what you do not know
And in the gap between what you
Know and do not know

In the silence

Wonder will grow

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Passing


People pass me
In the street
On their way
To somewhere else

Somewhere more important
To someone more significant
To achieve something more considerable
To be something else

They pass me with
Passing etiquette
Eyes flick, do not stare
Look at something else

I wonder where they are going
With their hurried, harried looks
I am passing them
I know I’m going somewhere else

It’s just me
You see,
Passing
Passing from this life

I’ve found
There is nowhere more important
Than where you are right now
And I’ve discovered

There is no-one more significant
Than you being you
Not some one else
I’ve discovered this in passing

So if I break the etiquette
And look at you and smile
Forgive me in our passing

I’m passing from this life

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Love


With Golem intensity
We hunt it down
Grasping with skeletal fingers
To lock it in our hearts

Dried hearts of disappointed grit
Leathered, hardened, soul sick
Unable to nourish ourselves
We guzzle at the wizened teat of another

Convinced they will satisfy
While love’s apparition
Teases our restless starvation
Stalking the ramparts of our soul

We demand love, gift wrapped
Decorated in tinsel
Boxed, in a bag
A meal ready to go

Can you gift wrap water?
A litre of water wrapped in a bow
Can you catch a moon beam?
And decorate it with tinsel

Love’s gentle shining
Flows around us,
While we feed of each other
Convinced it is love



Reflection


The necessity of pain and the creative process

We avoid pain. Physical pain, emotional pain and psychic pains are all pains we try ti steer away from.  A good life is a happy life – we think or at least we hope it will be when we can attain this happiness.

Can you live a life without shadows?  I walk 6 kms to work each day, in summer I walk on the side of the road which is most in shadow.  It is shady and cool from the heat of early morning sun light.  Likewise when walking home, I shadow hop as the pavement and road throws of the heat it has absorbed during the day.  We sit in the shade of trees, to read, write, reflect and watch the world go by.  Shadows are part of life, they are a necessity, so with pain.  It is a necessity.

Happiness is the holiday; life provides us in between the lessons of pain. It is how we react to pain that determines who we become.  Emotional pain, psychic pain can cause us to contract, to shut down, to become bitter and cynical or it cause us to become more receptive to life, more accepting, more welcoming.

When people admire the beauty of the lotus flower they do not see the mud in which it grows.

There is mud in all our lives, it is whether we allow the mud to fertilize the beauty of our souls.

The past few weeks’ life has decided I needed another lesson from pain.  I would have preferred not to have had the lesson yet it was gifted.  For what purpose remains unclear.  The pain and confusion was such that I could not continue my usual practice of writing a poem a day.  The mud in the pond of my life was stirred up.

Sometimes we need to learn to wait.  Sometimes we can be like petulant children demanding an answer, a reason.  Sometimes it is necessary to sit, to wait for in waiting pain sharpens the creative spark.  Pain can be like the flint, the stone against which creativity strikes and the spark of something new is born.


Pain is a necessity of life.  This does not mean we become masochists, it is simply the realization pain will be our lot.  It is facing that realization with calmness, with equanimity.  It is waiting for the mud to settle.  It is trusting the lotus flower of creativity will bloom again in all its uniqueness, its beauty and its individual perspective.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

And yet


Be sensible
Be sane
Don’t let love creep in
And yet

Distance separates
Logical dictates
It would not work
And yet

Keep at friendships distance
Do not come too close
The heart cannot sustain
And yet

And yet
The echo of your voice
The pauses you make
Reverberates within my heart

And yet
Emotions subvert what
Logics dictates
Love knows no distance

And yet
Will you hold me?
Will you gaze into my soul?
Will my heart leap to hear your sound?

Yes, oh yes
It leaps
And yet
Can I ask this of you?

No, I cannot ask
Love cannot be asked
It can only be given
And yet

And yet
Yet I hope
That within your heart
You will find a space

A little space
Is all I need
A letter, a word
If it is to much

To much to ask
If it is
I understand

And yet

Friday, December 6, 2013

Adagio


Sound in slow movement
A note suspended
Arpeggios resonating
Vibrating on floating seconds
Seconds coalescing into time
Slow, unhurried
Content to let things flow

A note, passions vibration
Struck with tender wistfulness
Sounds, sensuality echoed
Within my soul
Wings unfolding, beating
Reverberating with reverberations
Rises in love’s song

Time slowed,
Love’s adagio
The unhurried gaze
Lingering over the kiss
Passions tentative invitation
To exquisite touch
Rippling fingers on skin

Touch me slowly
Touch me gently
Hold me
Explore me
We have time
Play me
Love’s adagio




Never trust a palm reader


He sat under the umbrella
Faded, bleached, sun worn
Sheltering from skies clear azure

The sun pin pricks of reflected intensity
Pirouetting across the sea
Dazzling sight with blinding light

Unfortunate for a palm reader
To be so incapacitated
Unseeing he crossed my lines

In the shade his manual lay
But what’s the point of manuals
When blinded by the light

He took my palm
But first made sure
He had my money

Then nodding shrewdly
He cleared his throat
With a urrmph

A urrmph is always good
To lend some weight, some gravitas
To the otherwise absurd

He told me my love line was strong
And I would find a man
And all would be fine

And all is fine
I found a man
That man was me

Never trust a palm reader
He might be blinded by the light
He might confuse your lines




Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Swim


Evening crawls steadily forward
Last remnants of heat,
The unwanted friend who never knows
When it’s time to go
Strands of clouds, ooze crimson
Like some diseased artery
Parrots petulant from the day
Squabble, irritable children who
Cannot settle

The water chemically cloudy
To kill bloody bandages and stray hairs
Floating invisible tentacles too sickly weak
To stay rooted in the scalp
Amongst it all he plunges to forget
Thoughts constricted to a lap
The unthinking stroke
Water giving way, supporting
Caressing, unlike life

Shadows pass him
Young men, trim keeled, turbo driven
The arrogant assurance age is but a
Far off number
Older men, seal like and leathery
The arrogant assurance they can still compete
Churn the watery wake
While he, in wistful reminiscence
Remembers then forgets

Rising up, he sees the evening star
Water cascading from him
Tiny streams scurry, not to be left behind
Evening has become night
The parrots have settled
There is silence within the silence
Turning, he lifts himself
Kneels, stands

And walks away

Strands


Filament of flimsy vocabulary,
Words knitted together
A fishing net
Strung with deft intention
Meaning twisted between
The knotted cords

Do the words have meaning?
Is a fishing net a fishing net?
Perhaps the meaning suffocated
In the web of words for
Who can fish the meaning of a word
From the depths of souls

Threads of words that bind
We pray they will not snap
It is the spaces, of our
Soul’s silence we fear
Our howling loneliness
That drives us to our neurosis

We grope in fretful peevishness
Convinced by distraction
We will remain afloat
While, within our ears
The roar of our crashing
Isolation reverberates

It is not the net of words
That saves us, rather
The wisps of silence
For in the tufts of stillness
We hear beauty’s echo beating

In the womb of the world

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

At the beginning


Confusion roiled
Clouds of anger fulminated
In rising angst
Scudding in haste
Across the empty void

The sky could not contain
The bewilderment
Creativity paled
And crept to hide
Cowering in mystification

Love did not hold its anchor
Drifted, then rusted through neglect
But in the darkness, resurrection
The confidence of life
Green stalk bursting through

Creativity uncurled
And rose in splendour
Her tongue unloosed
She sang
Not for the other, but herself


Morning


Rays of sunlight
Cobwebs of yellow thread
Spun in the galaxy
Drizzle through sticky corners
Where restless dreams
Linger on the fuzzy borders
Of my mind

The breeze, ditzy in its blustering
Undecided whether to have
Cold chills or fevered heat
Wraps and unwraps itself around me
While I salute the sun
Raise chi and pretend
I’m younger than I am

Kookaburra’s needing
Breakfast meat
Raids a parrot’s nest
Sunbeam fractured with a shadow
Nature’s mercy, a random choice
Life unfairness not based
On meritocracy

Morning ritual of baptismal showering
To purify the body if not the mind
Flotsam of suds and decaying cells
Coarseness smoothed with a razor
Persona of a civilised man emerges
Resurrected from a more primal layer

Brought back to face the day