Thursday, November 14, 2013

Welcome


Welcome
I have arrived
Or rather returned
To where I never left

I have arrived
At the point of my rage
The point I forgot
Though the furnace remained

The point of my rage
What was its beginning?
It’s gone, long obscured
By guilt and shame

Its beginning
The unhealed wound
Still raw and bloodied red
Silent screaming of desperation

It is the unhealed wound
Of infanticide
The wound, that still rubs
Nerve endings raw

Infanticide
A sacrifice
To a jealous God
And a guilt ridden father

A sacrifice
On the alter
Of a marriage, riddled with
Hate masked as love

On the alter
I lay
And the fire of the sacrifice
Ignited my rage

I lay
In obedience
While my rage burned
At the roles I played

In obedience
No angel came
With a special
Delivered ram

No angel came
And I for years
Slow burned
On the alter

For years
My rage hid
The unhealed wound
Still bloodied and raw

My rage hid
While I laugh
I laugh in my pain
I laugh in my fury

I laugh at
Those who
Claim healing
Who say let it go

Those who
Say
Forgive and let go
Let light fill your being

I say, when
You have burned
Been burned to your soul
Then speak of healing light

I have burned
Welcome
I have returned
To the alter I left

Welcome
The pain
Still burns
But I know

The pain
I know
And I have
Survived before

I know
I will survive
This pain
Again

I will survive
And the pain
Still bloodied and raw
Will pass


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