Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Wheel of Fortune


I’m a Badger who enjoys the Tarot, not that I use it to discover the future.  I have enough trouble with the present without trying to discover too much about what is to happen.  Besides, I am learning that often the future is decided by my reactions and choices in the present, so far better to concentrate on making constructive decisions in the here and now. 

Why do I enjoy the tarot?  When I’m having one of those days when my fur is lying all cross-ways and I’m feeling scratchy and irritable I enjoy sitting and drawing cards to focus my thoughts in the here and now and stop my badger mind badgering itself with constant ‘what if’s’.  The other day was one such day and so I drew a card - Card 10 – The Wheel of Fortune. 

The following is a ‘meditation’ on that card and our/my often compulsive search for answers in life and to life.  We search for answers to the “what if’s of life” and when we receive the answers we often do not like what we receive.  Off we go again like the rabbits I watch in the twilight; jumping, running, constantly on the move, twitchy, fretful.  Hoping to find the answer that will suit us and hopping around till we think we have found it. 

Yet the answer is not usually found in our searching and questing.  The answer is usually found in accepting the quiet slow rotation of the wheel of life bringing us good days, indifferent days and difficult days.  It is in the constancy of change and the acceptance of the “is-ness” of life that we find the strength, courage and space to live.  {The “is-ness” is my term for my philosophy that “this is my life today”, I do not have to deal with yesterday or fret about tomorrow, this “is” life, this moment, right now – is life.  I will probably blog more of this later}.

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I need the answer
To the question I cannot formulate.
The query that hides in the folds of my mind
Driving my compulsive search
For the answer.

The wheel of life slowly rotates.

I search for the question
To the uncertainty that gnaws in the spaces of my thoughts
Convinced of the certainty of permanency
My mesmerising exploration for the answer.

The wheel of life quietly rotates

The question undiscovered
The answer given, yet
Unacceptable, offensive, objectionable
Cast off,
Castigating life I search again

The wheel of life calmly rotates

The question hidden in the folds of time
Un-thought cannot be asked.
The answer rejected, is lost
Anxious, obsessive, fanatical the search begins again
For the permanence of stability

The wheel of life
Rotating in the permanency of change
Revolving in the stability of constant transformation
Is the answer
Life simply to be lived.

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