Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Call of Silence


“People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening….
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence” 
(Words by Simon & Garfunkel)

When the phone call came that my cub had passed and I went into the ward to see him for the last time the thing that hit me was the depth of silence.

After a month of beeping respirators and the click of other computerised medical machines and in the final few days the awful indescribable sound of my young cub trying to drag breath into his lungs while life slowly seeped away there was silence. 

It wasn't the silence of nothingness or emptiness like an empty house; it was the deep profound silence that is left when a soul migrates from this time into time beyond this time.
I came out of the ward, went and had coffee and the silence came with me, wrapped around me, cocooning me.  For 10 days it was like living in a glass dome, I could see out, sounds came through muffled and dulled and in my dome I lived in a well of silence.

I am not a badger given to visions but in those days in that well of silence I stood beside a lake, a flat, smooth lake, a lake whose surface was broken as if a rock had been dropped into its middle and the ripples rippled out.  I watched the ripples whispering in the sounds of silence.

Silence, beautiful silence
Your echoes still reverberate and call to me
In the shadows of my soul.
You entice me with your noiseless grace

Shroud me in your quiet eloquence
Let me drink once more the stilled vintage
Intoxicated with your peaceful presence
Embrace me with your serenity.

The Song of Charon
Like the Sirens of old
Draws and entices
From time into time.

So I stand in mute wonder
Yearning for that silence
And in yearning choose once again
This fragrant, fragile beauty of life.

(Apologies to those readers who aren't familiar with Greek mythology.  The nature and my desire for silence is of a more personal nature and hence shrouded with mythology in the 3rd stanza.  I like to think I am not too elusive in my blogs but after all I am a badger!)

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