Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Sorry


He leant across
And kissed me
It was a
Narrow space
Yet so far
He said
I’m sorry.

I wished
He hadn’t,
Hadn’t said
I’m sorry
I was glad
For the kiss
It took me back

He was in pain
Mine, he didn’t see
Mine wasn’t
His to see
I’d buried mine
Behind the veils
Within my heart

Yet with
That kiss, he
Tore the veil
Reminding me
Of other days
Infused and tinged
With wisps of hope

He said
I’m sorry
I knew, he
Didn’t want to
Hurt, how could
I tell him,
Life hurts enough

Now I have
A memory
The warmth
Of his lips
And I promise
Myself,
Tomorrow

I will dig
Again,
And bury
His kiss behind
The veils
Within
My heart



Tuesday, January 2, 2018

This Season


This season
With nonchalant
Disregard for
Summer’s pleasure
Stalks once more
Across the
Floor boards
Of my soul

New year’s passing
Barely cold
The old returns
With strident
Insistence, suffocating
Intention and
Slicing scars
With precision

Once more
In summer’s heat
I wait the
Thawing of
Hoary fingered
Icicles clutching
Ventricles of
A wounded heart

I shut
My eyes
In case the
River Styx
Should seep
Amongst those
Who have not
Stood in its tide

But I have stood
In the River Styx
I have waited, and
Waited for
The ferryman
Listening to the
Rasping of
His oars

Each year
This season
He comes
To remind me
Of what he took
And I wait
For he will come

For me

Friday, December 29, 2017

Submissive's Prayer No 2

Obedience was not
Enough for you.
In an Orwellian fantasy
You demanded
Suffering too.

Suffering to
Bend my will
As on bended
Knees, I wait
In silence

As if the trinity
Of obedience
Suffering and silence
Would a saintly
Submissive, make me

Sunday’s of singing
Sermons of damnation
Sex today traded
For future
Salvation

Instead, I’ll
Take the sex
I may not be
Submissive, or
Saintly

But I prefer
The breathing
Of ecstasy
To this silence
Of Salvation


Thursday, December 28, 2017

Submissive's Prayer - No 1


I kneel
I wait
Forgive me
Father
I speak

Master
You called
My name
I wait
To serve

I wait
Your blessing
The hardness
Of ecstasy
To release

La petite mort
Of oblivion
Union enjoined
With you
Complete

I seek
salvation
Father, Master
I wait
Your release

I wait,
Waiting
In silent
Empty
Stillness

Forgiveness
Denied,
Service ignored
Speech unheard
Ecstasy frustrated

Was it me?
Was it you?
Silence
Remains

Unbroken

Sunday, December 24, 2017

The Intimate Stranger


I ask you
How you are.
But don’t
Answer me
I don’t want
The burden
Of knowing
It’s not that
I’m callous, I
Just don’t care

Gift me
The intimacy
Of your body
Let me
Explore its
Geography
By senses
Touch and smell
Don’t talk
Don’t tell

Words, weigh
Me down
Flagellating me
Flaccid with
Their sound
Be quiet
Let me rise
Hard and proud
And plough your
Spaces in silence

Spent, let me
Hold you
In the stillness
While our
Souls draw
Breath
Then leave my
Bed, not quite
A stranger, an
Intimate stranger


Saturday, December 23, 2017

Mysteries No 4


Light

I wake
Watching
Leaves caressed
Shimmer
A rustling
Waterfall of
Green and gold
As sunlight
Not yet hardened
Into ferocity
Weaves its way
Through them

If the Unknown
Is light, I hope
They are, of  
The morning light
A caressing light
That laces
Its way
Around me
Weaving its
Presence, in
The shadows
Of my life

I have
Grown tired
Of men’s
Ferocities
Their heat
Claiming the light
To hide
Insecurities
I need
My shadows
Those cool
Still places

My shadows
Places I hide
Spaces where
Light does not
Penetrate
Perhaps,
Salvation is in
The shadows
Soul spaces
Hidden
From the

Light 

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Mysteries No 3

Love

Love is patient
So, Paul says
I think he got
It wrong

It is us, who
Must learn
To wait, to
Patient be

Instead, anxious
Aggrieved
Agitated
We doubt

Convinced
We are wrong,
That love has
Passed us by

Yet love
Is by our side
Silent
In its embrace

We want
The love
We are convinced
We want

Yet love
Gives us
The love
We need

We need the
Patience, to wait
To see, the
Love, we need.

Patience to
Settle into
Love’s embrace
Knowing

We are love
For love, has been
Patient

Waiting for us.